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Unit V
Marriage
and the Family (go back)
(Chapters 16-18)
The age of Walden Two
parents astonishes the visitors. This
unit emphasizes adolescents' readiness for sex, the advantages of early marriage,
and the assets of a community approach to child-rearing. The children, the biological parents, and
childless couples all benefit from this practice. This unit also points to weaknesses in the nuclear family as an
economic, social, and psychological institution.
En route to lunch, the
visitors observe a boy and girl playing with a baby, and they are amazed to
discover that the infant is the couple's child. At the birth of her first child, the average Walden Two mother
is eighteen, Frazier explains, abruptly leaving his guests for a moment.
"It's a handy thing,
this experimental attitude," muses Castle
a bit sarcastically, thinking of the earlier discussion of child-rearing.
Later, at a small table in
the English Inn, the conversation returns to early marriage. Frazier
is the advocate, Castle the skeptic, and Burris the mediator.
Frazier's argument is that
there is no economic obstacle to marriage at any age in Walden Two. All children are cared for in the same way,
regardless of the parents' background.
At fifteen or sixteen, girls are ready for childbearing, and at that age
boys and girls have a capacity for love that they will never experience again. Adolescence, he points out, is seldom
pleasant, and at Walden Two it is as brief and painless as possible.
Beginning childbearing
early, many women at Walden Two are finished at age twenty-two or three. Adult life offers many interesting
prospects, including the maternal role.
Burris
suddenly realizes that a generation at Walden Two is twenty rather than the
usual thirty years. A man can be a
grandfather at thirty-five. Frazier
enjoys Burris' astonishment and explains that the average member of Walden Two
knows many more of his descendants than does someone in society at large.
Statistics, Barbara
argues, show that early marriages are unhappy.
Frazier replies that they fail because of economic hardship, which is
unknown at Walden Two. Furthermore,
when a couple becomes engaged, they visit the Manager of Marriages, who advises
against a marriage with any great discrepancy between the pair in intellectual
ability or temperament. The boys and
girls at Walden Two also know each other very well. Early marriage in Walden Two shortens adolescence and allows the
couple to enjoy the subsequent years.
At this point, Burris asks
about human genetic experiments.
Frazier replies that there are none at present but experimental breeding
may become possible with the weakening of family structure. (Chapter 16)
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Frazier considers the
family. He explains that the decline of
the family is the most significant story in the history of our times. The Walden Two community replaces the family,
an ancient institution which is out of place in a society not based on blood
ties. The home has declined as a medium
for perpetuating culture, and Walden Two has dealt with the economic, social,
and psychological bases of the problem.
Experimentation continues at Walden Two with regard to family practices.
In one instance, some
husbands and wives agreed to live alone or in pairs, depending upon random
assignments, and the results showed that couples with separate rooms were
happier than couples sharing a room. In
terms of health, convenience, and personal freedom, two rooms served better
than one. Loyalty and affection also
seemed to be greater when each person had his or her own room.
"Free love" is not
practiced at Walden Two, but "free affection" is common. If a marital bond is weakened or broken, for
one reason or another, the individuals rarely feel deserted.
Frazier admits that
extramarital friendships may weaken the marital tie. Then a psychologist gives counsel, leading to readjustment or
possibly divorce.
Burris argues that group child
care may weaken the parent-child bond.
Frazier agrees that it does, partly by design, but for the child group
care is better than parental care.
Traditional parents often do not know the basic principles of
child-rearing. Furthermore, the home is
not the place to raise children, even when the parents know what to do. There are too many distractions and dangers
for the child.
Group care is also an
advantage for adults. The biological
parents are relieved of a large responsibility and many household duties.
Instead, they can visit their children, working and playing with them,
whenever they wish. They have less
concern about divorce, for the children are not disrupted, and adults for whom
parenthood is inappropriate find no
stigma attached. Finally, there is an
advantage for childless couples, who can participate in the child-rearing
process.
"Don't these attenuated
personal ties lead to feelings of insecurity?" asks Castle.
"Who is insecure?"
asks Frazier. "Not our children,
certainly." Then he enumerates several more advantages for children.
Around the children are a
number of adults, rather than a single parent, creating numerous possibilities
for a suitable identification.
Furthermore, these adults are both men and women; there is no problem of
unbalanced relations with the sexes.
Most important, since the caretakers are not overworked, emotional, or
unprepared, the children have an increased feeling of security in the group
context. (Chapter 17)
Finished with this discussion
of child-rearing, the visitors report to the Work Desk. Castle and the women earn their labor
credits by some unspecified work while Rodge, Steve,
and Burris choose to stack wood.
During their work, Rodge
appeals to Burris for advice. He would
like to join Walden Two but feels that Barbara would not agree. During their visit, he has decided that
Barbara is not particularly concerned with social issues but rather with
having a home, a car, and entertaining her friends. He decides that Barbara has changed, but Burris says, "I
think you've done the changing, Rodge." (Chapter 18)
39
Write a definition for each of these terms. When in doubt, reread the indicated pages in
Walden
Two and consult the glossary in
this guidebook.
40
The concepts in Walden Two are often illustrated in daily
life. Below are students' illustrations
of three concepts in this unit. Supply
additional examples yourself of these or other key concepts in this unit.
Free
affection (129). "In my first high school, in another part of the country,
nobody ever hugged anybody. Nobody held anyone, either. There was just no
touching at all in public. In fact, if you
touched or slightly bumped someone in the elevator,
you quickly pulled away and said, 'Excuse me!'
"My family moved and I
entered Alternative School here, to try something new. On my first day I was astonished when
students and faculty went up and hugged each other all day, asking about summer
vacations, greeting each other so warmly.
I felt quite alone, for I knew no one and nobody hugged me-and anyway I
wasn't sure I wanted to be hugged that way, at least at that particular time.
"It seemed I just didn't belong. Of course, no one really noticed that I didn't hug anybody.
"I thought the next day things would be different. They were-but only slightly. No more ‘How-was-your-summer?' greetings,
but people still hugged and touched regularly, and a girl I had met earlier
casually patted me on the shoulder after a short chat.
"From that moment on my
stiffness began to leave me. I began to
make friends with teachers as well as students, and they would make physical
contact, usually touching my arm or holding my hand whenever we chatted. It was all just part of communicating, part
of being a member of that community-and I quickly learned to enjoy it.
"I guess the term for
this would be 'free affection' but no one ever even gave it a name. It was the way people were. People outside the school, especially some
nosey and somewhat bigoted neighbors, thought of it as free sex, or free love,
and Alternate School had a very bad reputation with them. We were a bunch of degenerates, teachers
included.
"Most of the students,
in early adolescence, were dealing with new feelings and quite sensitive about
relations with the opposite sex, what to do, and the approach in School filled
some of our needs for direct, physical contact. It was far superior to the first school, where there was no
contact at all, except for the secret rumblings on dates. And, in fact, I think at we were less active
sexually, partly because we satisfied the need for touch, and recognized the
difference between free affection and free love."
Identification
(134). "My mother makes a point of being extremely selfless, often
to the point of false martyrdom. She
will never eat the white meat of the chicken, even though she prefers it,
because 'she has to leave enough for her husband and children.' My father often
buys himself new books and records, but my mother refuses to buy herself things
she would enjoy, like new clothes. She
insists on making all her own clothes: 'We simply do not have enough money for
me to indulge myself.'
"Her attitude often hurt me as a child because
it seemed that everything I did was selfish in her eyes. She once told me, 'You will never be as good
a mother as I am. You are too selfish.
You will never sacrifice for your family as I do.' I remember feeling guilty
even then for my supposed selfishness. Now
her attitude annoys me because it often does not seem to be generously given.
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"In recent years, however, I have noticed the
same attitude in myself. I am too often
submissive to others. Not wanting to
be selfish, I often allow others to take precedence over me. I hesitate to choose something that I want
if I think it differs from what my friend or boyfriend wants. My boyfriend has said to me occasionally, ‘I
wish you weren't always so selfless.
You should think more of yourself and believe that your desires are
important also. 'I realize when he says
this that I have taken this quality which I dislike in my mother and made it
part of me, also."
Social
conscience (140). "It was 2:15 on a Tuesday morning during the summer. My two friends, Jacques and Sandy, and I had
missed the 1:15 A.M. train back home and thus had an hour to kill in Penn
Station with the citizens of a smelly hellhole. The guys wanted some orange juice so they took off in search of a
24-hour store while I massaged my aching feet.
"I was so involved in
my task that at first I didn't notice 'John.' He was sitting 5 feet in front of
me. His eyes had a faraway look, almost
as if he was in a world that I couldn't enter.
His reddish-brown hair was matted with dirt and lice and his clothes
were torn and dirty. Next to his
slumped body was a large plastic bag full of tin cans. I tried to erase his face from my memory as
I started my other foot, but I kept visualizing his shoeless feet and empty
expression. I wanted to do something,
but I didn't know what. I glanced at
him quickly again, hoping that he wouldn't notice. He turned and looked not at me but more through me as if I wasn't
there. I felt the urge to ask him how
his life had been reduced to a worn gray suit, an income of cans, and a bed of
yesterday's New York Times. I was interrupted by the return of my
friends who were rushing me because it was 3:10 A.M.
"I put on my shoes and
started to walk away. I touched my
purse. My fingers were ready to give
John my last $5, yet I just kept walking.
Suddenly, something snapped inside me and I stopped my friends and ran
back to put a dollar by his feet. 'Not
even a word of thanks,' I thought later.
It didn't matter though because I was on a warm, clean train going home. But I couldn't forget that his home was the
passenger waiting area of Penn Station."
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1. What is the Walden Two approach to sex
among young adults? Does it seem
wholesome? Reasonable? Possible?
Practical? (122)
2. How long is a generation in Walden Two? What are the implications for population
size? Family
life? The elderly? (123)
3. Statistics suggest that early marriages in contemporary society
tend to be unhappy. Frazier
claims the opposite is true in Walden Two.
For what reasons? How do you
resolve the difference between the two societies? (124)
4. Describe the experiment on rooms for married couples. What was the procedure? The finding Assuming the finding is correct,
what complicating factors may be present? (129)
5. "Oh, Mother! I am
so glad you brought a present just for me." Is this sentence likely to be
uttered by a Walden Two child? If so,
why?. If not, why not? Indicate the background for your answer.
(132)
6. The weakening of the parent-child relations is valuable in
several ways, according to Frazier.
What are they?. Are there
reasons against this practice? Give
your view. (133)
7. Referring to child-rearing, Castle
asks, "What happens to 'identification?"' If Walden Two children do
not want to be like their parents, how are their personalities developed? What is your response? (134)
8. "The marriage system trades on them!" says Frazier,
speaking of the partners' feelings of insecurity. Describe his view of the usual middle-class marriage in
America. What is your opinion? (135)
9. "To make matters worse," Frazier complains, "we
educate our women as if they were equal, and promise them equality. Is it any wonder they are soon
disillusioned?" What does he mean?
Have things changed in any significant way since 1948? (136)
10. Frazier claims that some mothers in contemporary society try to
make their child more helpless.
Why? Do you agree? Would the Walden Two system alleviate this
problem? (137)
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Frazier turns his attention
to human relations, particularly those between men and women, parents and
children. He carefully directs his
comments to the young couples, as well as to the professors:
1. On adolescent sex: "Sex is no problem in itself."
(121)
2. On teen-age romance: "The glowing adolescent debutante
with a string of devoted swains is
an artificial bit of trumpery
which civilization can well do without." (125)
3. On the family: "The family is an
ancient form of community, and the customs and habits which have been set up to perpetuate it are
out of place in a society which isn't based on blood ties." (128)
4. On child-rearing:
"Home is not the place to rear children." (132)
Think carefully about each
of these topics, completely disregarding Frazier's opinions. Place a "B" beside the topic of
most importance to teen-age boys, and use a "G" for teen-age
girls. The same topic may be marked for
both boys and girls.
Consider your results and
then prepare a statement on sex differences in values. Are there any rather universal
differences? If so, what are they and
what are their origins? If not, why
not? Reflect on the roles of heredity
and environment in these circumstances.
Or prepare a statement on
Frazier's views. Do they show a sex
bias? Does his approach to the design
of Walden Two decrease or increase sex differences? How? Give some attention
to the probable future sex differences in values in our own culture.
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